The Run

As I tightened the black laces on my retired sneakers, I could feel it:  it was the evening for the perfect run.

      the warm summer air full and expectant  --
           a whisper-breeze light on my skin

My lungs:  squeezed and full

   My legs: strong and stretched

       My body in a place of physical happiness.

Photo by Hillary Kalmbach, Moses Lake

And then a feast for the eyes . . .

       Pink-grey clouds thick and churning in stillness . . .
                               
                                      a feather-soft heaviness in the sky

 suddenly . . . amazingly . . .

           flooded by gold       cracking through the cloud seams --
             
                    breaking through darkness
           
                            splitting the sky into golden shards of beauty.


The work of a master artist --  with impeccable timing -- in a grand show for those who dare to see.

Who dare to believe

Brilliance.

Popsicles for Two

Summertime . . . when the livin' is easy.

Summertime . . . when you can sit on the front stoop and eat popsicles wearing only underwear . . .



I remember years ago, as a new summer camp counselor, sharing stories of my faith journey with the other counselors.  When I closed my eyes and pictured Jesus, I always saw him sitting next to me on a porch swing, sipping lemonade.  There we were, Jesus and me, enjoying the comfortable silence of sharing a swing-built-for-two on a perfect summer afternoon.

That image has stayed with me -- comfortable, golden and smile-inducing.


Maybe next time we'll try some popsicles.

County Fair

 There's nothing like a family outing to the county fair.

Cows

Pigs

Snow Cones

Fire Trucks

Goats

and a million bales of straw.

It's a quaint, wholesome family affair . . .

                      like a step into another world . . .

                                              gently cupped in this world's hands.

Demo Derby

It's not a demo derby unless there's dirt in your teeth.

Could it be that the county fair demolition derby is one of the quintessential American events?

Country music, fireworks and red rope licorice.


Yup.  That's about right.

Sharing Secrets. Sharing Life.

I've been practicing the "awareness examen" every night for some time now.  It's a delicious way to fall asleep -- looking back over the day and asking:

For what moment am I most grateful today?

For what moment am I least grateful?

It's a way to help identify moments of connection -- moments when I feel most alive -- more transparent to God and more loving toward other people.  It's also a way to identify disconnection, depletion and a sense of being blocked to the presence of God, others or myself.  It's a way to notice God in the tiny details -- and large moments -- of life.  When patterns begin to emerge, that's when I can really start to gain insight and (hopefully) change, deepen and grow.

I very recently started doing the examen with specific people or events in mind -- my three children, my husband, moments in ministry.


Today I played "Restaurant" for nearly an hour with my five year old.  He was clad in a red robe and red stretchy gloves -- a chef that cooked at such high speeds, he looked like a cloud of red dust.  I was ordering amazing delicacies -- most of them containing special ingredients such as chocolate chips, cream and cherries on top.

As I sit and hold that moment . . . I smile.  It was a time of completely putting all tasks and to-do's aside -- and completely focusing on my son.  He let me in on some delicious secrets (like who he's going to marry) and created a new identity as a dad, husband and "best chef in the world."  It was a pure moment.  A moment of sharing secrets . . . of sharing life.

Today my two year old ran into my legs, threw his arms around me and shouted "Mommy!  Mommy!" after missing me for two hours. A surprise gift of love -- a gift of joy.

My little baby girl broke out into whole body laughter when I looked at her and repeated some word I can't even remember now.

These moments -- suspended in time -- all connected because I was so real and present and in the moment.  All connected because they are gifts.  A pattern emerges day after day . . . my grateful moments are always when I'm present and connected and in the moment with my children.

I should do it more often.

Another pattern has become glaringly obvious . . . my least grateful moment always involves my desk.  It is so full and cluttered and screaming with important tasks I'm supposed to be doing that it's difficult to think.  So my question is: what does this mean?  What am I supposed to change or do or tweak so that this desk doesn't continue to drain life from me?

I'll continue to wrestle . . . and pray . . . and listen . . .

And maybe throw on some red stretchy gloves and cook up a storm.

Unbalanced

You know those exercise contraptions that look like a half ball that a person stands on to improve their core strength and balance?

Yeah.  Like that.

You can't relax when you're standing on something like that.  You are constantly wiggling, wobbling, bobbing, falling.   You are unbalanced, off-kilter, out of control.  Perhaps with practice you finally feel you have it all together.  But really, a slight breeze or friendly nudge from a friend and Whoops! there you go.

The only way to really be sturdy is to grab on . . . to something or someone.  Or step off.

Sounds like life, eh?

Life is a wiggly, wobbly, bobbing sort-of adventure.  We are forever unbalanced, off-kilter and out of control.

And if we're not . . . if we think we've got it all together and under control . . . we only need a slight breeze or nudge from a friend (or snide remark or fried engine or overwhelming loads of work or death, disaster or disease) and suddenly all we want to do is step off.

However, "stepping off" of life is not a livable option.

So . . . we grab on.

Unfortunately, most things to grab on to are standing on their own half-balls of unbalance.  That doesn't work so well.

There is One, though, who IS balance.  But we don't grab onto God's hand to be balanced.  We grab on in dependance.  Our self-sufficiency is replaced by complete dependence on the All-Sufficient One.

Life just doesn't work unless we're reaching out our hands . . .

for Jesus . . .

for Life.

The Gift

It's December so you know what that means . . .

my four-and-a-half year old is ready for his gifts.

"Oh!  I love Christmas!"  "Why?"  "Because you get PRESENTS!!"

Great.

In this month's Lutheran Women Today magazine (Dec. 2010), the Bible study is about gifts of the Spirit.

"Gifts of the Spirit" as opposed to "spiritual gifts".

The gifts of the spirit are "any ability one has to help build up the body of Christ." --Seyenkulo & Seyenkulo, pg. 31

So if your generosity helps build up the body of Christ -- that's a gift of the spirit.  If your laughter helps build up the body of Christ -- that's a gift of the spirit.  If your gentleness or writing ability or witty banter or plumbing skills or sense of humor or encouragement or accounting abilities or sweetness or baking or mad guitar skills help build up the body of Christ . . . . you know it:  gifts of the spirit.

Our call is to listen, follow and obey God.  Our call isn't to do good or try to fix the world -- it's to wholeheartedly obey God -- even in the little things.  Maybe especially in the little things.  (Because it's the little things that make up a big life.)  Instead of figuring out "how can I serve?"  Maybe we should be crying out, "Lead the way God!  I'm yours!"

It seems to me that the gifts of the spirit are the manifestations of obeying and following God.

We wake up in the morning with a fresh, new day stretched before us.  We look up, smile and ask, "What do you want me to do today, God?"  We hear one of numerous possibilities.  (take a shower, pay the bills, snuggle your children, shovel the driveway, shovel Mabel's driveway, do a dance, walk to work, take a friend out to coffee, make that phone call, write that letter, play with your children . . . la la la).  So we do.  And our action uses gifts we have -- talents, skills, abilities, knowledge, time, energy, wisdom.  These gifts build up the body of Christ.  It might be our own children or family . . . or it may be a stranger across the world.

Listen to God.  Obey God.  Follow God.

The actions that follow are gifts . . .

Gifts that we open             but are not for us.

Gifts for the common good . . . for all of God's children.

Gifts of the spirit are not something we strive to use, but that we automatically use when we obey and follow God.

Gifts.  From God.  For God's people.

Now.  On to my four-and-a-half year old's list . . .